According to UK's Telegraph Newspaper, a complaint letter is currently circulating via e-mail throughout the world. Considered by many to be the funniest airline complaint letter ever drafted, it describes an unappetizing in-flight meal by a passenger, traveling on one of Virgin Airline's Indian flights. The letter is addressed to billionaire Richard Branson, owner and operator of all things branded "Virgin."

The letter has been reconstructed and is currently available on the Telegraph Newspaper's website. The following are some of the funnier portions with corresponding images:

Appetizer and Dessert

...I know it looks like a baaji but it?s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you?ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It?s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Source: Telegraph Media Website

According to the The Gourmet Cartographer blog, "baaji" or "bhaaji" is a vegetable dish, sometimes made from potato and tomato. It is best enjoyed from street vendors in Mumbai, where it is often served with toasted, fried, or grilled bread called "pav."


Main Course

...Now I know what you?re thinking. You?re thinking it?s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It?s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato.

Source: Telegraph Media Website


Dessert

...It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn?t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

Source: Telegraph Media Website

An addendum to the re-constructed letter states that Branson himself contacted the author to "thank" him for his "constructive critique." It is not clear if the author was at all compensated for his experience.

Now, I would love to declare this incident a "processed food low" that another airline has sunk to because it chose to put profit ahead of people, but I am not qualified. I haven't logged the requisite hours traveling on airlines to make the determination. Though, I hope the author submits his images and letter to AirlineMeals.net. At least this way, someone else can draw appropriate conclusions.

AirlineMeals.net is an image repository of in flight and crew meals served by various international airlines over the past 50 years. The website currently hosts over 18 000 user submitted meals and personal accounts of each. A friend directed me to the site months ago.

Here are sample meals from various eras:

TWA meal from the 50s
Source: AirlineMeals.net


Pan am Meal from the 60s
Source: AirlineMeals.net


Japan Airlines Meal from 1984
Source: AirlineMeals.net

Unfortunately, AirlineMeals.net has been in a state of "re-construction" since June 2007. I just hope someone keeps a backup of the image repository. It would be a shame to lose such a collection of culinary history.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Happy Year of the OX
Source: bluebison.net c/o TimTayag.com

May health, wealth, and good fortune grace you and yours!

BTW, if you like the sketch, it comes from artist Roberts Hayes. He sells a very snazzy mug featuring the very cute ox.

Ox Mug

In 2003, the BBC reported that breakfast may in fact be the most important meal of the day. This is according to the results of a study by Dr. Mark Pereira and researchers from the Harvard Medical School. They found that people who regularly ate breakfast were one third less likely to be obese than those who skipped it. Those who ate breakfast were also half as likely to exhibit the blood-sugar abnormalities that increase the risk of developing diabetes or have high cholesterol, which is a precursor for heart disease. Dr. Pereira and his colleagues suggest that eating breakfast may help stabilize blood sugar levels. This in turn regulates appetite and energy, making breakfast eaters less likely to be hungry during the rest of the day.

Breakfast seems important to four people who have shown up in the media of late. Two are world class athletes. One, a former supermodel. The other, a former executive of a successful American electronics retailer called "Fry's."

Ryan Locht
When the eating habits of Olympic medalist and fellow American swimmer Michael Phelps spilled onto the blogosphere, reports of Ryan Lochte's daily regimen were quickly eclipsed. Like his teammate, Locht is an Olympic medalist, amassing a very respectable 6 medals during the past 2 summer Olympics: 3 gold, 1 silver, and 2 bronze. He is also a world record holder of the Men's 200 m backstroke.

According to B-net,

I usually wake up around 5:30 a.m. I get something to eat, like a Pop-Tart, fruit, and orange juice. Then I go to practice and swim for two and a half hours, from 6 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. Then I eat breakfast: four eggs, three pancakes, two bowls of cereal, two fruits, two glasses of milk, OJ, and oatmeal.

Michael Phelps
Michael Phelps' eating habits are now infamous. At 14 career Olympic gold medals, being the most decorated Olympian tends to garner attention. Having 7 world records in swimming also doesn't hurt.

According to the Serious Eats blog, NBC reporter Bob Costas is responsible for "spilling the calories" of Phelps' expansive diet. Costas read aloud Phelps' "typical" breakfast order from "Pete's Grille" in Baltimore, Maryland during an on-air television broadcast. It follows:

Start with three sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions, and mayonnaise; add one omelet, a bowl of grits, and three slices of French toast with powdered sugar; then wash down with three chocolate chip pancakes.

John Henley, columnist for the Guardian Newspaper in the UK, even attempted to eat Phelps' astounding breakfast. He was less than successful.

Iman
According to the Calgary Herald and columnist Zosia Bielski, Iman Mohamed Abdulmajid still "rules the runway." The legendary supermodel, wife to British pop icon David Bowie, and spokesperson for the international aide program "Keep a Child Alive" is a host and judge on the Canadian fashion design reality series "Project Runway."

During her interview with Bielski, Iman divulged her daily breakfast:

Iman eats egg white omelettes with feta cheese and spinach and whole-wheat toast for breakfast, protein shakes as a snack and chicken or salmon for lunch.

Ausaf "Omar" Umar Siddiqui
According to a report from Mercury News, the former "Fry's" executive had a long list of exacting demands when he gambled in Las Vegas, Nevada. As a noted "high roller", casinos like the Palms and the Planet Hollywood Resort pandered to Siddiqui's whims. For instance, amongst his 7 page profile at one casino, he had his room stocked with the following:

• Fiji water, grouped in bottles of three.
• Golden raisins and warmed mixed nuts.
• Aramis cologne and badger hair shaving brush.
• Lint-free towels.
• Dom Perignon Rose champagne and Kurosawa Sake in the fridge.

As of Janaury 15, 2009, Siddiqui has been arraigned on nine felony charges of wire-fraud and money laundering. Apparently, he funded his gambling habit by laundering approximately $6 million USD in kickbacks from Fry's vendors. He is also facing multiple lawsuits from the casinos he visited.

For breakfast, one hotel butler's account has Siddiqui tucking into:

...Earl Grey tea with four packets of sugar and 3/4 teaspoon cream, three eggs over easy, hash browns, sourdough toast, orange juice and a plate of papaya, mango and pineapple.

So, no matter if you are an Olympic athlete, an internationally renowned supermodel, or a former executive of an electronics retailer, you'd best start your day with breakfast. Besides preventing health problems, you'd be surprised what people who eat breakfast can accomplish.

I have worked for the public service, in one capacity or another, going on 11 years now. During my tenure, I have met some amazing people. Some were consultants. Others, permanent employees. If I were forced to count, I would say that I have met more permanent employees to whom I owe a debt of gratitude than consultants. These public servants were excellent examples of what the general public seems chronically unable to see: hard working and dedicated professionals who provide value to taxpayers.

One particular embodiment of professionalism and grace retired last Friday. She was incredibly well organized, open minded, innovative, and always approachable. She worked tirelessly and earned the respect of everyone she worked with. Her name: Maragaret. My department is poorer because she has left.

For her retirement party, no less than 40 people crowded into the French Quarter restaurant, which advertises itself as serving "Cajun Cuisine at its Finest." The food was neither Cajun nor fine.

While I didn't think much of it at the time, the first warning sign had to be the request from the single waiter, serving our party. He asked us to order from the lunch "specials" if we wanted to be served in a timely fashion. The specials: a Po Boy made of a flat bread, brie, prosciutto, and sun dried tomatoes; mussels with baby clams in a garlic cream sauce; blackened sword fish with a fresh tomato sauce; and lamb chops with roasted mini peppers and pesto. Each was served with the soup of the day: cabbage and lard (no, you're NOT reading this incorrectly l-a-r-d). I would understand untimely service if patrons were ordering food not on the menu, but it was Friday. On Fridays, a restaurant's larder should be packed to the gills and prepped for the evening's dinner rush. Is this restaurant not used to serving a full house?

The restaurant itself is a 60-80 seat eatery, decorated in some eclectic colours: dark red wood accents, maroon and cream walls, and gold borders. Distributed throughout are masks that look like they hail more from 18th century France, than modern day Carnival or mardis Gras. Both Carnivale and Mardis Gras are celebrated with masquerading traditions in New Orleans, whose historic and famous French Quarter (Vieux Carré) neighborhood is the restaurant's namesake. Even though mardis Gras was founded upon the 18th century French tradition of the same name, I find its masks somewhat less ornate, but more colourful: purple for justice, green for faith, and gold for power.

In the same vein, I found the French Quarter's food to be more typical of the French bistro style than "cajun." According to wikipedia.net, cajun cuisine refers to food that originated from French-speaking Acadian exiles who settled in Louisiana. An authentic cajun meal is rustic and is made with three pots: one dedicated to the main dish; one, steamed rice, corn bread, or other grain; and one, vegetables. Cajun dishes are heavily seasoned and feature parsley, bay leaf, scallions, and dried cayenne pepper. Its characteristic aromatic mix is a "trinity" of bell pepper, onion, and celery. Servings are plentiful and feature much of the local ingredients of originating region. Contrary to popular belief, it is also not spicy.

I was served a particularly non-cajun meal, which happened to be one of the specials: the po boy. It came with soup and a house salad. Firstly, po boys have no roots in Cajun cuisine. They are traditional submarine sandwiches that just happen to come from Louisiana. Secondly, what I was served was not a po boy. Po boys typically consists of deep fried seafood (sometimes meat), served on crisp baguette-like bread. Prosciutto from the Italian tradition, brie from the French tradition, sun dried tomatoes and scallions on a piece of flat bread does not constitute a po boy. It also doesn't make a palatable combination. If you're going to have so many deeply savory ingredients with dried tomatoes, choose a more substantial bread to carry the flavors. As for the soup, it tasted as if I were drinking greasy cooking water. Bits of cut up pork fat floated around in the bland liquid. On the bright side, the salad was fresh and crisp, making it a pleasant diversion from the rest of the plated disaster.

At $13.99 for the Po Boy, Soup, and Salad and $2.25 for a glass of Iced Tea, I felt good an cheated.

Thankfully, like other attendees, I was more taken by celebrating the career of a fine public servant than eating my meal.

Update 1: I walked by the restaurant today and saw that the French Quarter thinks that a "Mediterranean Wrap" can also be considered a Po Boy. There's also a traditional Louisiana (Spanish) paella, spelled "poella", special too.

Another Po Boy
This restaurant is beyond help.

Update 2: Apparently, the French Quarter is affiliated with Cafe Baci, another paragon of fine dining. At least, its website doesn't state that Cafe Baci serves "Italian Food at its Finest." Its website is "disabled."

Particulars:
Le French Quarter
80 Promenade du Portage
Gatineau, Québec

Originally, I intended to draft this entry as a response to a piece from columnist Zosia Bielski, entitled "Really cheap eats: How low will we go?" It was posted in the Life Section of the Globe and Mail website. It demonstrated that my fears were well grounded. North American diets have changed now that the economy has worsened. Unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to print the article after coming across it two Mondays ago (January 12, 2009). Instead, I e-mailed myself the link. When I finally found time to put the entry together, I clicked on the link and was led to the following advertisement:

Pay Per View Globe and Mail Article
Perhaps it is a further sign of recessionary pressure that the Globe and Mail feels it must charge people to read its content several days after it was published and/or posted online.

Given how the website seems to work, more than likely all articles have a "readability expiry." If so, I wonder why the website allows comments when the Globe and Mail has absolutely no intention of permitting free or open discourse. Then again, who am I to question? The Globe and Mail has the readership of 10 million. foodiePrints has the readership of 10. To my faithful, please bare with me as I work with the recollection I have of the article.

In the growing economic calamity, consumers are opting for processed foods. They include frozen hor d'oeuvres from Walmart, Campbell's condensed soup, and Velveeta. People are turning back to canned meat and Jell-o. Bielski further intimates that foodies see this food as "low brow." Clearly, she (presumed to be a she) doesn't know the difference between a "gourmet" and "foodie." True foodies can find pleasure in processed foods. I consider myself a foodie, and I proudly stock my pantry with cans of baked beans, ready to serve beef stew, and condensed mushroom and chicken noodle soup.

Are processed foods part of my regular diet? No, but, as I've written before food can be characteristic of a stage in life. Hence, they can represent a connection to a simpler time and offer comfort during a turbulent one. Some of my comfort foods are the same as other North Americans' who grew up in the 80s. They include the following:

• Heinz Baked Beans with Pork - long cooked beans in tomato sauce
• Campbell's condensed chicken noodle soup - yellow broth with short noodles and very scant pieces of meat
• Campbell's Chunky-brand Beef Stew - ready-to-serve beef stew so thick it can be eaten with a fork

These were foods that were economical during my childhood. They are economical now. Though, these days I also have vats of "from scratch" chicken stock, bottles of homemade tomato sauce, and individually portioned containers of slow cooked Asian-style beef stew in the freezer.

I have also learned to supplement Bielski's "low brow" foods with fresh ingredients. Take for instance the "Sloppy Joe." According to wikipedia.net, the Sloppy Joe is an American dish of ground beef, onions, and sweetened tomato sauce, served on a hamburger bun. It is a variant of the pulled pork barbecue sandwich. Browned ground beef replaces the slow cooked pork. A homemade or commercially prepared sweetened tomato sauce sauce replaces the barbecue sauce. A well-known brand of canned Sloppy Joe sauce is "Manwich", which is manufactured by Con Agra foods under the "Hunt's" label. Here is my take on the Sloppy Joe:

Finely chop one onion, three stalks of celery, and three cloves of garlic and set aside.

Vegetation

Assemble the meat (1 lb of ground beef and 2-3 Italian sausages, stripped of their casings) and brown it in a pan, pouring off excess grease. Set it aside.

Ground Beef

Italian Sausages

Gently sweat the vegetation with 2 tbsp of vegetable oil and a pinch of kosher salt over medium heat until translucent. Add the browned meat and one can of Manwich Sloppy Joe sauce. Bring to a simmer, reduce until there is no excess liquid and place into a metal bowl.

Simmered Sloppy Joe mixture

Ready to make Sandwiches

For traditional Sloppy Joes, spoon a heaping amount of the mixture into hamburger buns and serve. As for taste, think meat pasta sauce, but with some brighter flavours and more substance. One sandwich is very filling.

Hamburger Buns

Sloppy Joe

For a Sloppy Joe "Melt", heap some of the mixture onto a slice of bread. Sprinkle with shredded cheese. Top with another slice of bread. Toast in a non-stick pan, either teflon or seasoned cast iron, over medium heat. Gotta luv adding sharp melted cheese flavours to tomato. Yum!

Sloppy Joe

Yellow cooking onions are $2-3 for a 5 lb bag. Celery is $2-3 a bunch. A 2 lb chub of ground beef can cost anywhere between $1.99/lb and $2.49/lb. Italian sausages can be found fresh at $2.39/lb for a family pack. Just freeze the rest in meal-sized portions. Bread varies in price. This weekend, I picked up a loaf of thick-cut whole wheat bread at 2 for $4.

For a healthier version, omit the sausage and use lean ground beef. To avoid the canned sauce, simmer pureed canned tomatoes, each can costing anywhere from $0.99 to $1.49. Whatever the case, this take on the "low-brow" Sloppy Joe demonstrates that processed foods can be supplemented with fresh ingredients without incurring significant cost. The recipe is also quick and easy.

To Bielski, would it not have been better to provide some guidance to your readers on how to survive a recession than simply pointing out that everyone is turning to processed foods? Take for instance the comments in response to your piece before it was made unavailable. Many include personal accounts on how to eat healthily when times are difficult. Some point out that the public is more health conscious than you give it credit. For the time being, the comments are still available in Google's cache.

Me, I'm not amused with Bielski calling foodies food snobs. While we can appreciate "squeeze-bottle" cuisine, being a foodie doesn't mean we are immune. We too have to survive the recession. We also make adjustments to our diets. The issue should have been about eating smart, not just eating cheap.

As the writer behind the Wandering Chopsticks blog writes in her "About and FAQ" page, food is reflective of culture. She sees it as perhaps the "most accessible way to learn about another culture." I concur. Like her, I have embarked on a quest to eat and/or cook as many dishes as is possible from every cuisine the world has to offer. I also realize that this quest necessitates much travel to complete.

In the meantime, I try to expose myself to as many sources of authentic culinary knowledge as I can. I enjoy learning about how different peoples of the world eat, how they prepare their dishes, and what cultural significance each dish has. The Wandering Chopsticks blog, for instance, is an excellent resource for Vietnamese cuisine. I particularly enjoy the "Top 100 List of Vietnamese Foods to Try", which comes complete with pictures and links to dozens of recipes in the blog's archives. It identifies dishes the Vietnamese American blogger feels are characteristic of her culture. Judging from the many comments, other Asian immigrants agree with her choices.

I also sift through the latest news for food-related articles. My question? What precisely do you think the following stories about Americans attacking one another with food say about American culture?

According to the Associated Press, a Florida woman has been placed in custody for hitting a man in the head with a bagel. She has been charged with assault and battery.

Bagel in the Head
Source: Orlando Sentinel newspaper

Four days earlier, Fox News reported that another Florida resident, this time a 19 year old man, has been arrested for assaulting his own mother with a taco. Accordingly, the attack was the result of the man's mother unplugging his x-box to urge him to join her for dinner.

Taco to the Face
Source: Incredibly ugly Fox News Website

Given that these seem to be two isolated incidents, I am not sure what to think. However, one has to wonder, do infrequent reports of food-related assaults in Canada mean that people in colder climates treat food and each other with more dignity and respect?

When asked to suggest the perfect house warming gift, I usually answer with an amalgam of oft-overlooked yet indispensable things for the kitchen: magnetic fridge clips, a swivel head vegetable peeler, an ergonomic pizza cutter, a full tang metal ice cream scoop, a full length apron, pot holders, and a quality pair of oven mitts.

As someone who spends too much time in the kitchen, I treasure a good pair of oven mitts. They keep all the hot things from burning my fingers and all the cold things from giving me frostbite. Here's a couple that have caught my fancy of late:

In 2005, the manufacturer behind such products as selectively limbless ginger bread cookie cutters and pink girl chopstick connectors, released Hot Head insulated oven mitts.

Hot Head by Fred
Source: The Just Cool Design blog

Entitled, "Hot Head" by Fred, the food-grade silicone mitts are meant for small one-handed jobs. They resemble copy written Disney characters and double as a napkin holders if placed on their backsides. I adore the frog Hot Head that my dear friends Caro and Richard gave me for my 29th birthday. .

Frog Hot Head

Frog's Backside

Frog as a Napkin Holder
It sits beside my convection toaster when not posing with the 2008 Edition of Cheap Eats Ottawa. I've named it Kermit, for obvious reasons

For those recipients that see the world in pixels, how about a pair of "Clicking Cursor Hand Kitchen Mitts." As Gizmodo's Mark Wilson writes, those of us schooled in using the World Wide Web would love to translate the point, click, copy and paste mentality into kitchen. The mitts from bazardesign.com are as close as we're gonna get!

Clicking Kitchen Mitts
source: bazardesign.com c/o craziestgadgets.com and the mighty gizmodo

Now, there are a few Alton Brown fans who are equally as utilitarian as he is and would prefer to have fingers on their oven mitts. If you have a recipient that fits into this category, may I suggest "Cowhide Driver's Gloves with Keystone Thumb" from e-rags.com?

Welder's Gloves
Source: e-rags.com

They are available in pigskin, deerskin and goatskin. Options include unlined or lined with fleece, thermal, Thinsulate or Kevlar. According to the retailer, they are ideal for construction, masonry, agricultural or iron/steel work, mining or foundry, transportation and electrical work. If so, they can definitely handle a pot or two coming out of the oven.

Eccentricities aside, please choose quality oven mitts for you and yours. Burned hands cannot make good eats!

This just in: Waka waka hot head by Fred released.

Pacman Hot Head by Fred
Source: Perpetual Kid c/o gizmodo

What can I say? It speaks to the hours I spend chasing blue ghosts on my old Atari 500!

As Chef April Bloomfield writes in the Restaurants section of the New York magazine, "Say what you will about the English and their cuisine, their flair for naming dishes is unsurpassed." Here is just a sample of the whimsy from effingpot.com's American Guide to speaking British.

• bangers and mash - plate of English sausages and creamy mashed potatoes
• chip butty - piping hot fries, topped with tomato sauce, in between two slices of buttered white bread
• chipolata - a small pork-filled sausage
• jellied eels - exactly what it sounds like!
• pork scratchings - deep fried pork rinds
• spotted dick - steamed suet pudding with dried fruit, typically served with custard
• yorkshire pudding - a dish, originating in Yorkshire, England, that is made by pouring what amounts to pop-over batter into roast drippings

In her piece, Chef Bloomfield prefers we consider her recipe for "bubble and squeak", a breakfast dish made from frying up left over greens and mashed potato. As an amateur in the world of British food, I chose to consider the American variation of the "toad in the hole."

Traditionally, toad in the hole is made by embedding pork sausage links into a Yorkshire pudding and serving it with vegetables and gravy. Here is a picture of proper Toad in the Hole from wikipedia.net:

Toad in the Hole Proper
Source: wikimedia

And, here is the American variation: a piece of toast, fried with an egg in the middle. I first encountered it as a child. During an episode of the 80s television show, Hunter, I watched the main character, a crusty old detective, take his firearm, throw a slice of white bread in the air, shoot a hole in its center, catch the evacuated slice in a fry pan, and crack an egg in it. Recently (April-ish) I decided to attempt the feat, sans firearm.

Results:
Mis en place

Holes
Cut holes in your bread. I used a drinking glass.

Runny Yolks In Pan

Toads
Place the bread in a pre-heated (medium heat) and oiled non-stick pan. Crack an egg in the hole and turn it over when the egg is solid enough to survive the flip.

Done!

Toad in the Hole

While this isn't Toad in the Hole Proper, an integrated device with a fried egg and fried bread, makes a great breakfast.

Please don't throw away the left over bead. Personally, I fry the rounds in the same pan. They also make great bread crumbs.

Update: On September 8, 2009, SeriousEats posted a piece about how frying eggs in pieces of toast has Hollywood connotations. To many Americans, the dish is known as Guy Kibbee eggs as the then actor made them in the 1935 film Mary Jane's Pa.

Gotta luv the toxel design, inspiration, and technology blog. They have everything, from an angry chef trying to stop a plagiarizing artist:

Angry Chef
Source: Macacolandia Design Studio Campaign c/o toxel.com

to really cool food-themed lamps:

LED Milk Glass Light

Powered by 3 AAA Batteries
Source: locomo c/o toxel.com

These LED lamps light up when placed upright and turn off when tilted and placed upside down. Though, there is a switch at the bottom of the class. They are made of clear acrylic material and come in really entertaining packaging. Cost: $8.72 USD

Milk Glass Light Packaging
Source: locomo c/o toxel.com

If an auto-sensing milk glass light seems half empty to you, how about an egg light?

Egg Light

Great as a Night Light
Source: Igor Pinigin at behanc.net c/o designcollector and toxel.com

Designed by Igor Pinigin, this prototype egg light was awarded a special prize at the "Svitlo" (translated: light) competition in Ukraine.

If Pinigin ever commercializes the design, I would buy one for my better half Jenn. I'm sure she'd get a kick out of having an egg night light.

That's "spiked ice" drinks, not "spiked" iced drinks. According to a gallery on the newscientist.com website, freezing water with few dissolved salts, like distilled water, can cause the resultant ice to form the following phallic protrusions, called "ice spikes."

Good morning icicle!
Source: Photo by Andrew Bradbeer c/o newscientist.com


Birds beware
Source: Photo by Anne Davis c/o newscientist.com


Thick and spic...I mean spiky
Source: Photo by Andrew Leng c/o newscientist.com


Spiked Cube
Source: Photo by Christian Willenborg c/o newscientist.com

No, these protuberances aren't the result of an as yet unidentified force in nature, called "hormonal thrust." The following is an explanation from the 221st news issue from planet-science.com:

as the ice freezes fast under supercooled conditions, the surface can get covered except for a small hole. Water expands when it freezes. As freezing continues, the expanding ice under the surface forces the remaining water up through the hole and it freezes around the edge forming a hollow spike. Eventually, the whole thing freezes and the spike is left

For clarity, here is an illustrated diagram from woosk.com

Ice Spike Formation

Why is distilled water water? Again, from woosk.com,

Most ice cube trays produce a few spikes, but usually only if distilled water is used...We measured the probability of ice spike formation as a function of salt (NaCl) concentration in distilled water, at a fixed temperature of -7C...Very little salt is needed to kill the ice spikes. All tap waters contain relatively high concentrations of various mineral salts, so apparently different impurities have different effects on ice spike formation.

According to newscientist.com, this may be because dissolved solids in the water tend to concentrate at the tip of a growing ice spike and inhibit its growth. A research paper from the California Institute of Technology provides much more detail.

Personally I've never encountered the phenomenon before and I live in a city where the temperature sinks to -40°C during 4 months of the year. Though, because we are exposed to prolonged periods of snow, the city coats our roadways with salt, sometimes with reckless abandon.

Now, if you want to make your own, and I do, here is a recipe from newscientist.com.

Recipe

Ice Spike How To
Source: newscientist.com.

Prep:

1. Find some distilled water.
2. Find a plastic ice cube tray. Metal conducts heat too well.
3. Pre-cool (set) your freezer to -7 °C.

Method:

1. Fill the ice cube tray with the distilled water.
2. Place the tray in the freezer.

Happy ice spiking!

And yes, because this is a recipe that I've not tried, it's going into the ExperimentalEats category.

According to wikipedia.net, Viña del Mar is Spanish for "Vineyard of the Sea." It is the name given to a commune and coastal city in the Valparaíso Province of Chile. Viña del Mar is best known as a tourist and beach destination. It hosts an annual music festival, called the Festival Internacional de la Canción de Viña del Mar. A google search for Viña del Mar pulls up travel vacation packages and almost cliché beach scenes. Does South America ever advertise beaches without sparkling blue waters, white sand, or beautiful bikini clad women?

In Ottawa, Vina del Mar is the name of an unassuming Chilean eatery in the Hintonburg area. My better half and I visited the nearly one year old restaurant after I sat for a hair cut at Celebrity Hair Design, which is just down the street on Wellington. After approximately twenty minutes under the masterful care of Rob, husband of dear friend and foodiePrints fan Sean, I exclaimed to Jenn that I was hungry. We had skipped breakfast that Saturday morning, racing to the salon to make it to my appointment. Once he put in his finishing touches, Rob suggested we try Hino's as he and Sean wanted to read my review before going there themselves. I chose to give Vina Del Mar another chance.

Ever since I read Xpress' food critic Simon Osborne's review of the establishment (dated April 17, 2008), I was excited to try its reportedly sublime Chilean street food fare. During Mademoiselle Ling's visit to Ottawa, last summer, I did. Late one Saturday evening, she and I picked up two platters to go, one featuring an empenada and another a half rack of ribs.

Empenada

Ribs
The empenada came with a fresh romaine lettuce salad. The ribs, peas and rice. Since we ordered both platters at the end of service, I surmise we were served what best the kitchen could muster. The empenada's pastry was thick and stale. Its filling of ground beef, black olives, hard boiled egg, onion, and raisins was tasty but cold. The ribs tasted as if they were warmed from slow cooked leftovers left to cool in the fridge. The rice was hard. Neither dish met the expectations set by Osborne's normally reliable review.

Happily, my better half and I were much better served after my haircut. This time, we ate in the restaurant and we arrived during the beginning of service.

As for the restaurant itself, please pay no mind to the brightly coloured walls, strange tiling, and vacation magazine cutouts that decorate every exposed surface.

Interior
These elements are meant to brighten the eating area and establish an informal atmosphere. Besides, it works remarkably well when bright midday sunlight spills into the dining room from the bay windows at the front of the restaurant.

The friendly owner, Hugo, is the front of house staff. His wife cooks up a storm in the kitchen. He invites patrons into the restaurant and checks up on them regularly to make sure they are comfortable. She prepares what Osbourne calls "Chilean comfort food" that makes up the restaurant's menu.

Like Osboure, Jenn ordered the pastel de choclo, ostensibly a Chilean take on the British Cottage Pie.
Topped with a mixture of what we presumed to be mashed plantains and potatoes, the filling consisted of ground beef, an entire chicken leg, black olives, boiled egg, onion, and raisins. Yes, save for the chicken leg, this closely resembled the empenada filling. The difference: it was served piping hot.

Chilean Cottage Pie
Jenn thoroughly enjoyed her meal, even squealing with delight when she found an entire chicken leg embedded under the sweet and starchy topping.

Me, I ordered the pichanga. According to Wikipedia.net, pichanga is a communal or "common table" dish where people serve themselves. It usually consists of a mixture of different ingredients, including french fries, beef, chicken, cheese, egg and sausage.

Mine was a single serving of different meats, topped with hand cut fries. The fries were freshly fried, crisp on the outside and tender in the middle. It was served with hot sauce.

Pichanga

Pichanga with Hot Sauce
The hot sauce consisted of various sweet and hot peppers and chopped tomatillos mixed with vinegar. It provided a fruity brightness as well as spice to the meal. If you are not served a bowl of "sauce" with your pichanga, ask for one. The flavor contrast adds depth to the dish.

The pichanga had grilled bone-in chicken, grilled German sausages, slow cooked then grilled ribs, and sweated onions.

Pichanga Deconstructed
The chicken was tender and flavorful. The sausages were juicy. The ribs, though twice-cooked, were very tender. The onions added texture and savoriness.

Hugo recommended the pichanga to me as I was literally starving. It hit the spot. When I finished, I was stuffed and happy. Next time, I'm having the pastel de choclo though. Even though I saw Hugo pulling two plastic covered servings from a freezer in the back of the restaurant, what my better half was served tasted relatively fresh. Jenn offered me a spoonful of the topping and mixture. It sang with flavor in my mouth.

At $31.62, including 1 very fresh spinach salad, 2 cans of Coke and taxes, the lunch was a steal. We left our tip in the earthenware gondola by the cashier and wished Hugo well.

We will definitely be going back and soon.

Here is Vina del Mar's business card.

Business Card

Particulars:
Vina Del Mar Restaurant
1079 Wellington Street W.
(613)724-3000

Celebrity Hair Design
1024 Wellington Street W.
(613)759-HAIR(4247)
celebrityhairdesign.ca.

A popular "classic video game" blog, called ScrewAttack, posted a somewhat atypical entry recently (January 11, 2009): a top 10 list of sandwiches from a contributer who goes by the handle MySweetRhodora. It follows:

1. Peanut Butter and Jelly (PBJ) Sandwich
2. Philly Cheesesteak
3. Pulled Pork Sandwich
4. Grilled Cheese Sandwich
5. Sloppy Joe
6. The Reuben
7. The Cuban
8. Pan-Bagnat
9. Chip Butty
10. Bacon Lettuce and Tomato (BLT) Sandwich

For a detailed listing with mouth watering descriptions, please visit the ScrewAttack blog.

Yours truly is a sandwich fanatic. Like MySweetRhondora, I feel that the sandwich is an elegant "food conveyance" solution. It is equally effective as it is simple. However, I have not yet tried all of the sandwiches on his top 10 list. This is especially true of the "Chip Butty", which sounded remarkably British to me. According to wikipedia, it is pub fare that is "making a come back" in Northern England. Before any of you turn your noses up to it, please remember that we Canadians pile both cheese curds and gravy on fries. Who are we to question?

I am also sadly allergic to peanuts, so I have never tried a PBJ. To fill the gap, I make cashew butter by grinding a tin of cashews with some oil and honey. Spreading a generous amount of cashew butter on a slice of bread with some grape jelly is as close as I can get and it is heavenly. The heavy nutty flavors pair extremely well with the sweet jelly.

Here are pictures from the foodiePrints archive of some of the sandwich types that made it onto MySweetRhondora's list:

Homemade Cheese Steak
Here's something that Jenn whipped up for me one Saturday as a surprise dinner.

Season pre-sliced Chinese fondue beef with salt and pepper

Fry it up in an oiled non-stick pan and deglaze with frenched onions

Throw the meat and onions into a whole wheat bun and top with shredded mozzarella cheese

Toss everything under a broiler to melt the cheese and plate
Yes, I'm aware that proper Philly CheeseSteak is assembled on a griddle after the meat is browned from fresh, the meat is topped with cheese, and the bun is placed on top to steam. Trust me, this sandwich was delicious. The meat was peppery. The onions were just slightly caramelized. The bread was soft, but slightly toasted. The cheese was melted and warm. You know you're loved when...

Pernil Pulled Pork Sandwich
Pernil is traditionally a slow baked roast of pork butt that comes apart like slow cooker pulled pork. One Sunday morning, I decided to make something resembling pernil with a slow cooker. Firstly, I seasoned a piece of pork shoulder with dried oregano, freshly ground cumin, cayenne pepper, freshly ground black pepper and kosher salt. Then, I chopped it up so it fit into the pot of my slow cooker. I poured enough beer into the pot to come halfway up the meat and cooked it on high until the liquid simmered. Afterwards, I switched it to low and and checked back 3 hours later. Here's what I did with the leftovers:

Fry leftovers up in a non-stick pan on medium heat

Split a kaiser

Layer on the Meat and Enjoy
Despite being refrigerated overnight, a quick fry up rejuvenated the meat to succulence. The spices took the flavour in a Latin direction. The meat tasted fleetingly like beer. Yum!

Grilled Cheese
I think we discussed Grilled Cheese ad nauseum recently. Nevertheless, the following is a griddled grilled cheese sandwich.

Griddled Grilled Cheese
It features a micro-thin layer of fried crust that was created by smearing butter from crust to crust and cooking it on a very hot surface.

Sloppy Joe
My recipe for a Sloppy Joe sandwich will be posted in a planned entry about "recession-related food." Consider this a sneak peak.

Veggie Fortified Sloppy Joe Mixture

Pan Fried Sloppy Joe and Cheese Sandwich
The pan fried Sloppy Joe and Cheese sandwich is an interpretation the classic diner patty melt. The only difference is that the meat is loose as opposed to formed into a patty.

Pan de Jamon
I am familiar with the workings of the classic French Pan-Bagnat, mostly because of an episode of Good Eats with Alton Brown. However, I've never tried it, so please allow me to introduce you to the like-sounding, but completely different, Venezuelan Pan de Jamon or ham bread.

Pan Hamon

Cross Section
Traditionally made during Christmas, this preparation of Pan de Jamon came from a friend of a friend. It featured shaved smoked ham, cheese, green olives with pimentos, and a dense yet flaky outer crust. The savory deli meat and bright olives went well together. Judging from the colour, I presume that an egg wash was applied before baking it in an oven. Some recipes braid the yeast-risen dough over the filling. Others, roll out the dough thinly, lay on the filling, and treat it like a roulade. RecipeZaar has a recipe that is supposed produce an authentic Pan de Jamon. I've yet to try it. Now, I'm itching to.

According to an interview with Esquire magazine, it seems that Sarah Palin, former Republican vice-presidential nominee for the 2008 United States presidential election, has a dim view of bloggers. Apparently, the questionably chosen running mate of Senator John McCain is annoyed by "bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie." Riding on her election campaign funded Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus coat tails, Mike Barnicle, a former columnist for the Boston Globe newspaper, supported the Alaskan governor on morning television today, declaring that "95%, 99% of blogging isn't journalism. It's therapy for the blogger." Of course, Barnicle made the declaration, himself having never reported a fabricated truth.

It pains me to say that Ms. Palin and Mr.Barnicle may be right. As a peddler of half truths in the food world, it is time I came clean.

Firstly, my name is actually Howard Sanchez. I am a wealthy real-estate tycoon who lives in Arkansas, Texas. There, I specialize in selling waterfront property to pets, whose wealthy owners need a tax break. I moonlight as an exotic dancer during my off hours and farm ostrich in my spare time.

Secondly, I feel that, as a "bored and pathetic blogger" who "requires therapy", it is time I sought help. As such, I have decided to check myself into a medical facility at 6185 West Chandler Boulevard in Chandler, Arizona: The Heart Attack Grill (HAG).

I found it on the intarwebs. You know? The series of tubes that former Senator Ted Stevens talked about 2 years ago? Like Governor Palin, Senator Stevens was elected in Alaska, so he made sense to me.

Don't worry! I did some research on the fine medical institution called the HAG. It is run by licensed and registered medical professionals like its founder, Dr. Jon Basso.

Dr. Jon and his Surgical First Assist

Two Physician Assistants

The HAG only treats its patients with healthy foods like its patented single, double, triple, and quadruple "bypass burgers", which contain anywhere from half to 2 lbs of beef.

Quadruple Bypass Burger
Dr. Jon even has a poster sized prescription for a bypass burger on his website. All you have to do is print, point, and the duty nurse will admit you.

Patients at the HAG are also treated with regimens of lard-fried "Flatliner Fries", unfiltered cigarettes, beer from the drive through window, Jolt Cola, and Mexican Coke. Each regimen is tailored to treat ailments ranging from cardiovascular disease to poor eye-sight and lethargy.

After your treatment, no matter if you are able-bodied, you will be wheeled to your car.

Discharged Patient

Respected news programs like Dateline on NBC have aired pieces on the quality of care from the HAG.


The Tempe, Arizona location mentioned is the first (circa January, 2006) of two HAG establishments in that city, the Chandler location being its fourth over all. A third location was briefly established in Phoenix.

Tempe HAG

Operating Room

Second Tempe HAG

Happy Patients
Owing to its success treating patients, all but the Chandler location remains.

Though, the former Phoenix, Arizona location at 44th Street and Thomas Road has been transformed into another fine establishment.

The Grill Next Door
Judging from its decor, staff, and food served, perhaps Dr. Jon is behind the transformation, diversifying his portfolio to include rehabilitation centers.

Ms. "Caribou Barbie" Palin, I have seen the error of my ways. Perhaps you too can find new direction by seeing Dr. Jon. Now that your political career is at a cross roads, may I propose you two embark on a joint venture to open a string of HAGs up north? You could institute a "shoot and cook" policy during your remaining days in office. You shoot Bambi. He makes all-natural venison "bypass burgers."

Anyhow, I am off to seek professional care. If only we were all Alaskan!

This just in:
The HAG treatment has been written up in a respected research journal: wallstreetfighter. And, Flickr is hosting images taken at various HAG establishments for teaching purposes.

When couples get to the "move-in-together" stage of a relationship, you and your better half end up going to the home decor and/or furniture stores to fill in the gaps. Student or graduate alike, Ikea tends to top the list for most couples. For the more mature couples, there's Home Sense (affiliated with Sear's), Home Outfitters (affiliated with the Bay), the Bay, and Sear's. For the DIY couples, there's Rona and Home Depot. For the less cost conscious couples, there's EQ3. Though, no matter what show room in which store, there's inevitably the holler from one to the other, "Honey! Come take a look at this. We gotta get one of these." My turn!

"Sweetie dear? We gotta get one of these!"

The Hamburger Bed
Source: The Hamburger Bed Facebook Fan Page c/o geekologie.com and digg.com

"Solid construction."

Sesame Seed Duvet

Onion and Tomato Cushions

Lettuce Sheets
Source: The Hamburger Bed Facebook Fan Page c/o geekologie.com and digg.com

"Eh? Did you say that you wanted bacon with that?"
"No problem! We can accessorize..."

Bacon shaped

Iphone case
Source: gizmodo.com
"No dear. This isn't an excuse for me to go get an Iphone...A pouch that size can hold lots of other things...like an Iphone...Oops..."

"How about something that we both can use then?"

Wak'n Bacon Alarm Clock
Source: mathlete c/o blogadilla

I've a feeling that I'm going to be sleeping on the couch tonight...

Two years ago, Jenn and I made it a tradition to dine at Allium on New Year's Eve. Like many people, we believe that new year should be spent reflecting on the year past and celebrating the year to come. However, unlike other new year revelers, we make no resolutions. We feel that the days spent around new year reflect how the year will unfold. Thus, we make it a point to reserve a table at our favourite restaurant on the last day of the year.

Here is Allium's signage during last year's new year celebration. That evening, the restaurant featured a special multi-course tasting menu.

Allium: New Year 2007
I distinctly remember the restaurant being heavily booked. Even though we contacted the restaurant almost a week and half prior, we had to take a later reservation. Save for some overcooked halibut, the meal was spectacular. I even got to try steak tartare for the first time.

This year, Allium chose to forgo its annual celebration and closed the restaurant from December 31, 2008 until January 9, 2009. After what had to be another successful year, I presumed that chef/owner Arup Jana wanted to give the members of his line and his front of house staff some rest. Happily, Jenn and I found this out early and invited friends to join us for a last-minute dinner during Allium's last evening service of 2008.

For appetizers, we ordered the crab cakes (cost: $11), which Jenn and I have had on several occasions before. True to form, they were delicious, crispy panko on the outside and moist crab on the inside. Served with a honey/apple relish and garnished with tiny pieces of crispy bacon, sweet and tart complimented savory and salty. The crab cakes themselves tasted of cilantro. One of our guests normally dislikes parsley or cilantro, but she enjoyed her crab cake.

For entrees, we ordered the steak frites (cost: $22), a dish that I remarked to our waiter, Jason, was failsafe French bistro fare. It is one of the flagship dishes that showcase the skill of two important cooks on the line. Good steak comes with a uniform sear. It must be succulent and cooked to the desired done-ness of the specific patron. Good fries are the staple of a bistro. They should be fresh cut, made to order, fried to crispy perfection, and never greasy.

At our table, we asked for 3 orders to be medium rare and 1, medium well. Here's what I was served.

Steak Frites

Regarding the Frites

Frites
They were indeed freshly made, expertly fried, and served piping hot. They came with a chipotle aioli in a quasi-European tradition.

Regarding the Steak

Steak
It was served medium rare: red with a warm center. Given its shape, lack of connective tissue, and lean but tender texture, I figure we were served uniformly carved slices of strip loin. Each slice was succulent and tasted as if it were crusted with other flavors on the griddle, somethings spicy and savory. The steak was served with "Allium" steak sauce, which tasted like a flavored pan dripping reduction. The only drawback to the dish had to be the overcooked broccoli florets that served as the bed for the steak. Mushy and and dripping with butter, they were an unfortunate addition.

Interestingly, the online menu for January lists steak frites with sauteed romanesco and onions. There were neither onions nor romanesco on my plate. According to the fourth edition of the "Food Lover's Companion", Romanesco is a type of "summer cauliflower" that hails from northern Italy. It has a pale lime green colour. Its florets are pointed, instead of rounded. Perhaps the line cooks substituted broccoli for romanesco during new year to practice plating the January version.

For dessert, while everyone ordered the creme brulee (cost: $7) that I often rave about to my friends, I ordered the intriguing rootbeer float ($8) from the drink menu.

Rootbeer Float

Profile
If I were in a diner, I would not hesitate to pair a hamburger with a milkshake. At Allium, I hesitatingly chose to pair my steak dinner with a collins glass containing dark rum, rootbeer, and a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream. Oh it was sinful, juxtaposing rich ice cream in cold rootbeer in a French bistro. Were it not for the fact that the glass wasn't frosted and the float tasted of rum, the drink would have no place in a fine restaurant. Nevertheless, pairing rum with rootbeer is brilliant. Both share dark sugars and caramel tastes. Each extends the flavor profile with distinct flavors. Everything is carried well on melted ice cream. It was great.

Unfortunately, my better half interrupted my revelry with a spoonful of the custard from her creme brulee. While the sugar crust was thinly applied and the custard, creamy, something was different. The custard was heavier on the tongue and the vanilla flavour was missing something. This is when we inspected the bottom of the custard cup. We found none of the vanilla bean specks that were characteristic of the creme brulee that we remembered.

Something was amiss! During the evening service, Jenn and I noticed that the waiters kept turning patrons away because the restaurant was closing early at 9:00 pm. I wondered if Chef Jana were even on the premises. Under his attention, I doubt the inconsistencies with the meal would have occurred.

Cost (crab cakes, 2 steak frites entrees, 1 creme brulee, and 1 rootbeer float): $79.29 (after taxes, before tip)

That said, I hope my guests enjoyed their meal. Service was good and so was the meal. Its fundamentals were strong. Though, the meal was not at the level that earned Allium its 7th place finish in the November 2008 edition of Chris Knight's Top 10 restaurants in Ottawa.

Fear not! Jenn and I will check back with you later on this upcoming year. With so many great meals served to us, we have not yet lost faith.

Particulars:
Allium Restaurant
87 Holland Avenue
(613)792-1313
Click here for Allium's website.

More after the jump...

During the final months of 2008, Burger King ran taste tests of its flagship Whopper against the McDonald's Big Mac in remote areas of Thailand, Romania, and Greenland, areas where no one has ever heard of either. After teaser ads aired on television in the United States, the blogosphere erupted with accusations that Burger King is practicing fast food imperialism. Burger King prefers to refer to its marketing ploy as its "Whopper Virgin Campaign."

On December 17, 2008, Burger King issued a cease and desist order via Twitter to a user on Twitter who took the handle "whoppervirgins." In it, Burger King accused the user of infringing on their copy written trademark.

Twitter Cease and Desist
Source: Twitter.com

On December 18, 2008, Burger King releases a "men's body spray" called "Flame." It described its product as the "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Burger King even created a website for the "fragrance", and I'm using the term "fragrance" loosely.

Flame Website
"Flame" is reportedly selling for $4 USD in department stores. For curiosity's sake, here is what a bottle of "Flame" looks like.

Flame
Source: usatoday

In the new year (January 2009), Burger King created and launched a Facebook application that issues a one-per-user coupon to people who sacrifice 10 of their friends on the social-mega-site.

Delete 10 Friends for a Whopper
Source: whoppersacrifice.com

Oh, I should also point out that an American man has launched a lawsuit against Burger King over his suffering pain and suffering from discovering an unwrapped condom in his Whopper.

So let's sum up: Burger King wants men to smell like one of its burgers because it feels that the flame broiled scent attracts women. Burger King has decided that its regular market is saturated and is introducing fast food to remote regions of the world. Burger King feels that its burgers are worth severing ties with your friends or acquaintances.

Hmmm...Friendless, smelling like a burger, located in a remote region region of the world, and munching on a Whopper that may have a condom in it...

I'm going to "sacrifice" Burger King until further notice. If its management can authorize such a random assortment of marketing in the expanse of 2 months, I don't want to know what's going on with its food!

Look what Digg.com dragged up:

Godzilla Egg
Posted a day and a half ago, the image of a Japanese brand of watermelon has garnered 864 diggs to date.

If you follow the water mark in the image, you will be led to the Eegra.com blog, where the "egg" was dubbed the "Coolest Watermelon in the World." The image on Digg was posted on Eegra.com by Patrick Alexander last summer in July.

However, the Godzilla Egg was spotted by Slash Food in 2005.

Godzilla Egg on Slash Food
Here, the online community behind Slash Food translated the Japanese on the egg's packaging "gojira no tamago." The watermelon really is marketed as "Godzilla's Egg."

Yet another siting, this one undated, was made by D. Ashton, a student from British Columbia's Simon Frasier University.

Caged Godzilla Egg
Here, this image features the Godzilla Egg being sold in a wooden cage, lined with straw. Better yet, its price was also captured. According to google, at today's exchange rate, 8800 Japanese yen translates to $114.08 CAD.

Wowsers!!!

In the episode "Melondrama", Alton Brown said that the Japanese prize their Watermelons so much that they use magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to determine the sugar content or ripeness of watermelons. At this price, I'd demand forensic evidence too!

This just in:

Another Pricey Godzilla Egg
Source: Andrew Shuttleworth's flickr stream
According to google, at today's exchange rate, 13500 Japanese yen translates to $174.68 CAD

A prime example of the convergence of traditional push media and more modern push-pull media is the semi-viral marketing campaign employed by the American Turner Broadcasting Station to promote its sitcom, 10 Items or Less. According to wikipedia.net, the show debuted on TBS on November 27, 2006. It is currently aired in two countries outside of the US: Canada (on Global) and the UK (on the F/X channel). However, due to poor ratings, the show, which has been renewed for a third season by TBS, will be dropped from Global's roster.

To promote the show during the holiday season, TBS launched the lesliesturkeybowling.com website and filmed amateur video of college-aged kids "turkey bowling." Turkey bowling has nothing to do with bowling 3 consecutive strikes. It involves commandeering an aisle in a grocery store, blocking each end with merchandise, and setting up a 12 pin frame using full 2L drink bottles at one end. To bowl, a frozen turkey is hurled along the floor towards the drink bottles. The standard rules of bowling apply. The lesliesturkeybowling.com website hosts an Adobe Flash version of the game with detailed instructions on how to play. The amateur video was posted to YouTube.

Here are screen captures of the Flash game on lesliesturkeybowling.com:

Opening Screen

Score, during my first try

Here is one of the amateur videos:

It was posted on December 19, 2008. At the end, the lesliesturkeybowling.com url is displayed with a warning that turkey bowling is more than likely illegal and, if caught, could lead to prosecution if not a civil lawsuit.

On December 22, 2008, another video, featuring two main characters from 10 Items or Less was uploaded. It resembles a public service announcement, warning other grocers about the sport and encouraging zero tolerance. Needless to say, it goes horribly wrong and hilarity ensues.


More amateur footage, featuring the lesliesturkeybowling.com url appeared after new year.

You will notice that some of the footage from this video was used in the public service announcement.

Did the folks who write for 10 Items or Less come up with turkey bowling? Probably not, but it now has a following.

The boys from CollegeHumor.com responded to the public service announcement with their own video of their staff turkey bowling in their office space.


A youtube user who goes by the handle shaycarl has posted a series of videos of he and his friends going to random supermarkets or department stores and turkey bowling. The following was filmed at a Walmart.

Amazingly, shaycarl, who is announced to be born and bred to kill deer and eat turkey, even gets a random shopper to participate.

While we at foodiePrints cannot condone the practice of turkey bowling, we find the turkey bowling lexicon hilarious.

• White Meat: A fresh, clean turkey straight from the freezer.
• Dark Meat: A turkey that has been used for several frames and has become dirty and worn. Also known as a "Ground Turkey"
• Deep Fried: A turkey so heated by bowling friction that it actually begins to cook a little.
• Drumstick Hook: Gripping the turkey by the left or right drumstick when rolling to create enough side-spin to make the turkey curve as it rolls toward the soda bottles.
• Gobbler: A turkey bowler known for rolling the turkey with extreme force, making it hook more.
• Gravy Boat: A turkey bowler known for timing and delivery as smooth as a Grandma's famous Thanksgiving gravy.
• Gravy Gobbler: A turkey bowler who combines the high hooking power of a Gobbler with the smooth delivery and timing of a Gravy Boat. Also known as a "Tom Turkey".

Seriously, please don't try this in real life. Besides the standard misuse or potential destruction of merchandise, I'm pretty sure you don't want to purchase a turkey that was once used as a bowling ball.

Speaking of sporks, Doug Savage of savagechickens.com put forth a theory in 2007 that demystifies the convergence of the fork and spoon in the evolution of cutlery.

Spork's Family Tree
It is a somewhat unified theory as it also incorporates the grapefruit spoon, spatula, and ladle. Without evidence from the fossil record, however, the theory is difficult to prove. Though, the emergence of the foodle or sporkula would provide empirical support.

Unfortunately, as the discussion on the savagechicken website ensued, the theory demonstrated two flaws:

1. foons and sporks are virtually identical
2. there is no mention of the splade, a convergence of characteristics from spoons, forks, and knives (blades)

Pictures of splades have been captured in the wild. The splade even has an entry on everything2.com.

The word "splade" is contraction of 'spoon' and 'blade' (ie. knife). A Splade is a piece of cutlery that combines a knife, fork and spoon, with the emphasis being on the knife and fork aspects, more so than the spoon functionality. One edge of a splade is usually sharpened to provide an adequate cutting edge (ie. it is may not be as sharp as a standard dining knife).

Source: everything2.com

The splade aside, I believe that there must have been an intermediary form between the fork, spoon, and spork. The spork has shorter less distinct tines. If there are predominant tines, there are usually no more than 2.

Here is evidence:

Exhibit A - a modern titanium spork
Notice that the four tines are indistinct. Only two are significant enough to enable its use to impale food.


Exhibit B - a possible intermediary form

from the former Canadian Airlines
Notice the three shorter tines. Both the number of tines and length make this intermediary form much more practical for travel, which is the same niche occupied by the spork.


Comparison
Unfortunately, encroachment by Air Canada onto the natural habitat of the travel fork lead to its eventually extinction when Canadian Airlines ceased to exist. No conservation programs were attempted.

According to CTV, a total of 200 formal complaints were lodged against Air Canada during the 2008 Christmas week. Most concerned flight cancellations and delays. Many also involved ensuing unfriendly service to resolve issues. While there is no proof that the loss of the Canadian Airlines travel fork contributed to the issues, an all metal food implement demonstrates customer care was a priority in times gone by.

According to wikipedia.net, Mountain Equipment Co-op (MEC) is a consumers' cooperative that was founded in Vancouver, British Columbia, in 1971. Billed as one of Canada's largest supplier of outdoor gear and clothing, MEC has approximately 3 million members and is well-known for its green policies.

One of its 12 stores is located in the Westboro Village at 366 Richmond Road. My better half and I are extremely fond of MEC for its durable winter coats and its line of urban backpacks. For my birthday, 2 years ago, Jenn bought me a blue single strap back pack that I cart around with me just about everywhere. It usually carries my netbook (a classic 7" Asus EEE), at least one culinary magazine (no more than two), and my folder of material for upcoming foodiePrints postings. It is light, water resistant, stylish, and extremely practical. Best of all, like most of its products, MEC guarantees my pack against defects (outside of normal wear and tear) for life.

Today, Jenn went down to MEC to pickup her sister's Christmas gift, a stylish down-filled winter jacket. I took the opportunity to tag along to pickup some kitchenware for the office. Before you ask, I find camping gear surprising versatile in the urban jungle.

Mug
Ever since I found my stainless steel travel mug's outer casing shattered one morning, I've been looking for a replacement. I surmise that the cleaners accidentally knocked it to the floor while they were vacuuming and then hastily put it back on my desk. It was blemish free when I left the day before. When I found it, the casing was cracked and the handle was still under my desk. Here's my replacement, an all stainless steel, double walled, camp mug, made by Thermos. Cost: $10.50

500 mL Base Camp Mug
My building's coffee merchants are finally warming up to people bringing their own mugs, so I have no intention of setting the movement back.

Water Bottle
The ongoing controversy over the hazards of Biphenol-A (BPA) in drinking bottles has me looking for a metal alternative. Luckily, MEC is currently clearing out its supply of Fresco 850 mL Stainless Steel water bottles for $4 a piece. The clearance may have something to do with the bottles being end-of-line models and/or their manufacture changing its name.

850 mL Fresco Water Bottle
The bottles are labeled as being made by BILT. If you goto the url marked, BILT.com, you will be taken to the "Innate-Gear" website, where the Fresco Water Bottle are in thier second version. Whatever the case, food grade 18/8 stainless steel is good enough for me.

Spork
Here's my answer to plastic disposable cutlery: A titanium spork. Cost: $9.25

Snow Peak Titanium Spork
Yes boys and girls, we have foodiePrints' first sporking of 2009. Light weight and with surprisingly long tines, this spork will supplant plastic cutlery at lunch time.

And this rounds out my first batch of new kitchenware for 2009 :)

Particulars:
MEC
366 Richmond Road
(613)729-2700

I never understood those "something of the month clubs." Perhaps it's a symptom of our information-driven world that a lot of us, myself included, have become accustomed to having just about everything at our fingertips. If the megamart or department store doesn't have it, the local large-mart will. Even the more obscure products can be found available online, VISA or PayPal accepted and just a click away.

The same can be said for good food photography. While I long for my favourite culinary magazines to show up on news stands with their full page splashes of professionally plated and expertly photographed dishes, most are published monthly. Some are published every other month.

To fill the gap, I turn to the Food Porn Daily website, which I recently discovered. This website displays macro-like images of dishes in all their delicious glory. Each day, the image changes. Yes, it is safe for work. Though, some url-filtering firewalls may block it.

The site was built and is maintained by a collaboration from the founders of two popular food blogs. Amanda and her husband Tyler from What We're Eating and Nicole from Pinch My Salt take images submitted to the Food Porn Daily website and select those to display. According to the "Submit a Photo" form, photos must be high quality. They must be 1200x800 pixels or larger and they must be original. Food Porn Daily will not post photos submitted for other people.

For those of you who aren't satisfied with just looking, recipes are available for a number of chosen entries.

To me, the Food Porn Daily website reminds us that we eat with our eyes first. Go have a look see!

It's new year 2009 and the blogosphere is as ablaze as it can be with everyone trying to overcome the effects of celebrating the passing of 2008. One of the news stories that is inciting some discussion is Pepsi announcing it has terminated its endorsement relationship with soccer's former golden boy, David Beckham. According to Reuters, while many of us were preparing for new year festivities, Pepsi celebrated by ending its partnership after 10 years.

While both Pepsi and Beckham claim that the decision was mutual, some are wondering if the break has something more to do with the soccer star's selling power fading. Now 2 years after his joining the Los Angeles Galaxy, soccer's image in North American continues to remain stagnant. Still, others feel that, given the current shrinking economic climate, perhaps Beckham is just too expensive an investment. His asking price for endorsements is in the tens of millions of dollars, among the highest according to adage.com.

For Pepsi, whose product line for its flagship cola product includes 35 flavors to date, Beckham has played a cowboy, a surfer, and a gladiator. He has also been paired up with American music superstars Beyoncé and Jennifer Lopez.

Here's a farewell in pictures:

While Pepsi is currently toying with yet another flavour and colour in Japan,

Pepsi White
Source: avclub.com

old and faithful, David Beckham, has been sent out to the arena for the last time.

Pepsi's retired gladiator
Source: piftureofdavidbeckham.blogspot.com

Does anyone else remember when soda was sold with less fanfare?

Grocery Store in 1984
Source: flickr.com c/o digg.com

We do!

Creative Pepsi Ad
Source: Toxel.com

This just in: In Canada, Pepsi seems to have jumped on the energy drink bandwagon and is offering a new formulation of Pepsi Max, "Invigorated." Here's a picture of a bottle from a local megamart.

Pepsi Max, now with Ginseng
At least Pepsi isn't advertising vitamins like Coca Cola tried to in the US.