According to UK's Telegraph Newspaper, a complaint letter is currently circulating via e-mail throughout the world. Considered by many to be the funniest airline complaint letter ever drafted, it describes an unappetizing in-flight meal by a passenger, traveling on one of Virgin Airline's Indian flights. The letter is addressed to billionaire Richard Branson, owner and operator of all things branded "Virgin."

The letter has been reconstructed and is currently available on the Telegraph Newspaper's website. The following are some of the funnier portions with corresponding images:

Appetizer and Dessert

...I know it looks like a baaji but it?s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you?ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It?s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Source: Telegraph Media Website

According to the The Gourmet Cartographer blog, "baaji" or "bhaaji" is a vegetable dish, sometimes made from potato and tomato. It is best enjoyed from street vendors in Mumbai, where it is often served with toasted, fried, or grilled bread called "pav."


Main Course

...Now I know what you?re thinking. You?re thinking it?s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It?s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato.

Source: Telegraph Media Website


Dessert

...It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn?t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

Source: Telegraph Media Website

An addendum to the re-constructed letter states that Branson himself contacted the author to "thank" him for his "constructive critique." It is not clear if the author was at all compensated for his experience.

Now, I would love to declare this incident a "processed food low" that another airline has sunk to because it chose to put profit ahead of people, but I am not qualified. I haven't logged the requisite hours traveling on airlines to make the determination. Though, I hope the author submits his images and letter to AirlineMeals.net. At least this way, someone else can draw appropriate conclusions.

AirlineMeals.net is an image repository of in flight and crew meals served by various international airlines over the past 50 years. The website currently hosts over 18 000 user submitted meals and personal accounts of each. A friend directed me to the site months ago.

Here are sample meals from various eras:

TWA meal from the 50s
Source: AirlineMeals.net


Pan am Meal from the 60s
Source: AirlineMeals.net


Japan Airlines Meal from 1984
Source: AirlineMeals.net

Unfortunately, AirlineMeals.net has been in a state of "re-construction" since June 2007. I just hope someone keeps a backup of the image repository. It would be a shame to lose such a collection of culinary history.



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