Typical of Canadian suburbs, Kanata is replete with strip malls. Principle amongst them is the Kanata Centrum, a sprawling retail and entertainment hub for residents of the west end of the greater Ottawa area. Centrum is strategically located at the intersection of two major arteries, Terry Fox Drive and Kanata Avenue. Ottawa's Queensway (Highway 417) also exits onto Kanata Avenue within seconds of Centrum.

Typical of big strip malls, Centrum hosts a number of large chain restaurants. Here is a somewhat incomplete listing as new eateries seem to appear every 6 months, including a soon to open Montana's Cookhouse:

• Baton Rouge
• Boston Pizza
• Extreme Pita
• Harvey's
• Jack Astor's
• Joey's Only Seafood Restaurant
• Kelsey's
• Mexicali Rosa's
• McDonald's (inside of Walmart)
• O'Connor's Irish Pub
• Pizza Pizza
• Quizno's
• Scores Rotisserie and Ribs
• Starbuck's (inside of Chapter's)

Interestingly, Centrum once hosted one of Ottawa's 5 Denney's. Today, only 2 survive. The Centrum's closed shortly after 2004/2005 NHL lockout, blaming slumping sales on lower patronage during the hockey season. Scotiabank Place, home of the Ottawa Senators, is a 5 minute drive from Centrum.

What few family run restaurants at the Centrum serve ethnic fare and seat far fewer patrons than the large chain restaurants. They include Sushi Kanata, Ox Head Restaurant (a Vietnamese Pho house), and Thi Fusion (a higher end Asian fusion restaurant).

Recently, another large chain restaurant, popular in Western Canada, joined the fray, Moxie's Classic Grill. Previously, Ottawa's only exposure to Moxie's was in the form of a small establishment at the Bayshore Shopping Mall. The Moxie's restaurant at Centrum is much larger and more elaborate, capable of hosting approximately 200 patrons at any time in its dining room and lounge areas.

At the Centrum Moxie's, the atmosphere is intended to be sophisticated with dark coloured furniture, high seated tables, and an otherwise low light interior. It also features a very long bar with hundreds of bottles of 5 major brand liqueurs neatly displayed in a back lit floor-to-ceiling display case.

Jenn and I tried to go to the newly opened Moxie's at Centrum three times since the summer. Each time was with her family to celebrate a birthday. Each time we were given unreasonable wait times for a table to seat six people for dinner. Like the other 21 Moxie's establishments across Canada, the Centrum location does not take reservations for dinner on Fridays or Saturdays. This is problematic Friday and Saturday evenings when Kanata suburbanites tend to swarm the Centrum's eateries for dinner.

One Saturday afternoon, I accompanied a number of Jenn's colleagues to Moxie's for a celebratory lunch to mark the end of the fall semester. There, we discovered that Moxie's has a slightly modified front-of-house line-up.

According to its human resources (HR) website, the Centrum Moxie's employs, managers, supervisors, servers, lounger servers, bartenders, and hosts. To match its high end decore, Moxies employs multiple hosts and hostesses to create the "first impression", greet guests, "determine tables", "manage guest flow", take care of waiting guests, "create anticipation", seat guests, create the "last impression" and be the "last line of defense." At the Centrum Moxies, hosts are all female, blonde, skinny, and provocatively dressed. Waiters are all female, blonde, skinny, and provocatively dressed. This also seems to be the trend at other Moxie's as well. Take the Moxie's at the Yorkdale Mall in Toronto. Seven of the ten reviews on the restoronto-reviews.com website mention "stunning" female staff whose uniforms leave little to the imagination: "very short skirts" and "low cut tops." One, even likens the restaurant to a "top notch Hooters."

In Ottawa, there are rumors floating around that Moxie's contracts for its hosts differ from those for its waiters. Resembling more modeling contracts, there are specific clauses that involve weight gain and pregnancy. While I could find no evidence of such in the job descriptions from its HR website, all server positions mention "Quality, Service & Cleanliness (QSC) criteria " as duties. Hosts and hostesses have no such criteria listed.

This said, service during our lunch was replete with mistakes. Each was unforgivable because it was lunch time, there was no lunch rush, the majority of the tables were empty, and there was little turnover.

Mistake 1:
My better half ordered a glass of 7-up before we ordered our dishes. One of her colleagues ordered a club soda. The drink Jenn was served tasted like club soda, carbonated, but not sweetened. When we inquired, we were told that there was no mix up. The waitress then left to inquire about the odd taste. She returned telling us that "someone" had mistakenly not added any sugar to the batch made. She then dutifully took back the unsweetened glass and informed us that another will be forthcoming. When she returned, she told us that they were out of 7-up. This culminated in apology number 1.

Mistake 2:
One of Jenn's colleagues is vegetarian. She made sure to mention such when she ordered her meal and stated twice that she wanted the penne primavera without chicken. Even on the Moxie's website, this dish is identified as a vegetarian alternative as it can be served without chicken. When the dish arrived, it was not vegetarian. To make matters worse, she had to ask the waitress three times for chilli flakes. This culminated in apology number 2.

Mistake 3:
During dessert, Jenn and I shared a dish. As I separated a forkful, I discovered that my chosen morsel was attached to the pasty via a thin hair. When I made the waitress aware of this, she tried to convince me that the hair came from my better half's sweater, identifying herself as a "nerd" in the subject and thus an expert. No reparations were made.

Mistake 4:
Apparently, if you order a vegetarian dish from Moxies, you will be charged for the non-vegetarian version. That's right folks. Even though nothing was substituted and nothing was added, a chickenless penne primavera cost the same. If you inquire, both the host and waitress will inform you, indignantly, that this is the policy.

Unfortunately, the food reflects the service: spotty.

I ordered the bacon and aged white cheddar burger, which is marked on the menu as "The" Burger.

The Burger

The Patty
The griddle seared burger patty was served on a bun with fresh veg and what seemed to be processed cheese. This was evident by the cheese still retaining its "cheese slice" form. What I found rather disappointing about this burger is the thickness of the bun. Apparently, its intention was to match, volume to volume, bread for beef, veg, and cheese. The fries were fried from frozen and liberally salted. They quickly became starchy as they cooled.

Jenn ordered the "Big Life Fish and Chips."

Big Life Fish & Chips
According to Darcy O'Neil and his artofdrink.com website, Moxie's brews its own beer in Alberta, at the "Big Rock Brewery." Its Big Life Euro and Big Life Amber are only available at Moxie's restaurants on draught. While we didn't order either for lunch, I am a strong proponent of beer batter for fish and chips. Moxie's employs its own beer in its batter. However, the serving was disappointing. According to Jenn, the fish (listed as cod in the menu) was moist and not overcooked. The crust was surprisingly thin and crispy. Unfortunately, halfway through the meal, she discovered that, in the cook's haste to plate the meal, he or she must not have drained the fish well. Oil pooled on the bottom of the plate and soaked her fries. This made them a disgusting greasy mess.

For dessert, we shared the blackberry apple crisp on puff pastry.

Blackberry Apple Crisp
It is described as "a warm flaky pastry filled with west coast blackberries and apple slices, served with french vanilla ice cream", which is "baked to order." While it was plated well, I cannot speak highly of this dish as I found a surprise ingredient.


Blackberry Apple Crisp on Puff Pastry HAIR
I ask you, does this hair really look like it came from a sweater? How precisely does a hair from a sweater end up baked in pastry? This is evident by the attached bits of pastry from one end to the other and its sheer length.

After taxes, one appetizer, 5 entrees, 2 desserts, 1 cappuccino, and 3 pops ran us $105. No, nothing was discounted for the myriad of mistakes.

According to its HR website and the job descriptions, "At Moxie's, we don't hire staff; we hire people: People who share our love of life, and seize every chance to get the most of it." From my experience at Moxie's, I think this means that Moxie's employees show "moxie", but neither empathy nor attention to detail. According to Dictionary.com, "moxie" is slang for aggressive energy and initiative. If the employees at Moxie's reflect the restaurant's "love of life", you'd have to be masochistic to dine there.

To Moxies, may I point out two flaws in your business model?

1. You are a restaurant. Patrons come to eat, not watch ESPN on the LCD TV's above the urinals.
2. Half of your patrons are female. The type of eye-candy that you've employed may not be universally appreciated.

This just in: For another less than stellar review of a Toronto Moxie's goto redflagdeals.com. There's an entire thread dedicated to the subject.

Update: During a business trip to Edmonton last fall (September 2009), my manager and I ate at a Moxie's. It was a more classic-style Moxie's with no scantily clad hosts (hostesses). Since I have had inconsistent food from Ottawa's Kanata location, I ordered a cheeseburger, something big chain family-style restaurants rarely make well, but is ordinarily edible.

Cheeseburger Platter
The cheeseburger met my expectations: seared, but not quite juicy burger; cold untoasted bun; unremarkable pickle; non-processed-cheese cheese slice; likely deep-fried bacon.

Now, when I visited the West Edmonton Mall, I noticed the in-mall Moxie's was located next to a Hooter's. That Moxie's had a hostess. She seemed to be competing with the Hooter's hostess, regarding their states of undress.

Particulars:
Moxie's Classic Grill
601 Earl Grey Drive
(613) 599-5000

Bookmark with: